I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
