shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize