I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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