I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
