I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
