lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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