We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
