Those balls look pretty dangerous.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She's the barista slut.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
