New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
