Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
