once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
