The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
