I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
