Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
