Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
