You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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