We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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