who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
