Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
