i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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