fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
