i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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