i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize