My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
