I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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