Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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