Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize