All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
