Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
