Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
