Only a mothe r could love this liver
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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