hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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