i don't want you to think of me as your TA
splinters make it hard to masturbate
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize