i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize