I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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