Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
