i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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