I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
