I just saw a hot homeless man
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
