I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
