do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
