considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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