Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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