Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
