Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
