I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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