giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
