I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
