hotel room ftw
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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