also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
