Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
