and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
