do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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