Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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