i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
tell me about the fingering
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