don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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