I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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