I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
