girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize