2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
