hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who put my cat in the fridge?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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