And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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