i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
