Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
