hell yes lets make some ravioli
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize