When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize