OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
sex in a hospital.. check
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And then he peed in my hair
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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