The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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