if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
