he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
