You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize