I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
